1
00:00:11,420 --> 00:00:17,300
Because of you, these friends I do.

2
00:00:19,820 --> 00:00:22,180
Because of you.

3
00:00:24,220 --> 00:00:26,220
Because of you.

4
00:00:27,040 --> 00:00:28,700
Oh Lord.

5
00:00:31,160 --> 00:00:32,860
Oh dear.

6
00:00:35,020 --> 00:00:38,760
You were in early. You were up late.
What are you doing? Me budget.

7
00:00:39,630 --> 00:00:41,730
Will it stretch to a beer? Yeah, go on.

8
00:00:43,010 --> 00:00:45,450
Oh, there were some phone calls for you.

9
00:00:45,730 --> 00:00:46,780
Oh, yeah?

10
00:00:47,210 --> 00:00:49,050
Uh, Nicole called.

11
00:00:49,650 --> 00:00:52,890
She will be arriving on the Wednesday
ferry from Calais.

12
00:00:53,830 --> 00:00:54,880
Bon.

13
00:00:55,410 --> 00:00:56,910
Maria Angelis was phoned?

14
00:00:57,630 --> 00:00:58,730
Maria de Los Angeles.

15
00:00:59,110 --> 00:01:00,330
Spanish au pair, I know.

16
00:01:00,630 --> 00:01:03,370
Anyway, she said small feet make less
noise.

17
00:01:04,790 --> 00:01:05,840
Bueno, bueno.

18
00:01:05,841 --> 00:01:08,139
You've gone very international recently,
haven't you?

19
00:01:08,140 --> 00:01:10,059
Well, it goes that way sometimes, Eric.

20
00:01:10,060 --> 00:01:14,700
Then Mandy phoned and wants to know if
she left her tights in your car.

21
00:01:16,200 --> 00:01:18,120
Yeah, she did in the glove compartment.

22
00:01:18,980 --> 00:01:20,840
Still in the packet she bought them in.

23
00:01:21,600 --> 00:01:22,650
Anyone else?

24
00:01:22,680 --> 00:01:24,420
Yeah, Catherine Deneuve phoned.

25
00:01:24,820 --> 00:01:25,870
Oh, was she?

26
00:01:26,140 --> 00:01:28,670
Me, but I can't go out with her because
I'm married.

27
00:01:29,580 --> 00:01:32,980
Thanks, Eric. It's all go, isn't it?
Yeah, it must be awful for you.

28
00:01:32,981 --> 00:01:36,508
Actually, it's not that wonderful being
back in a swim of things, you know.

29
00:01:36,509 --> 00:01:39,029
It's as though there's a bit of your
life missing and you don't really know

30
00:01:39,030 --> 00:01:39,729
it is.

31
00:01:39,730 --> 00:01:41,029
Do you ever feel like that?

32
00:01:41,030 --> 00:01:44,090
I don't have that luxury. I'm too busy
dealing with real life.

33
00:01:44,091 --> 00:01:46,429
Well, what do you think mine is? Fantasy
Island?

34
00:01:46,430 --> 00:01:48,250
Yes. I'm being serious.

35
00:01:48,650 --> 00:01:51,690
Oh, go and play with your international
harem. It'll pass.

36
00:01:52,570 --> 00:01:53,620
Yeah, I suppose so.

37
00:01:56,750 --> 00:01:57,890
Fiona didn't ring then.

38
00:01:57,990 --> 00:01:59,550
Go to bed. Get out of my sight!

39
00:02:03,201 --> 00:02:05,719
Vegetable's what I'd like.

40
00:02:05,720 --> 00:02:12,619
No, no, no. You're forever lasting up
in... Yeah, I thought your

41
00:02:12,620 --> 00:02:14,670
face was going to go like that. What is
it?

42
00:02:17,100 --> 00:02:20,120
What is it?

43
00:02:20,380 --> 00:02:21,430
What do you mean?

44
00:02:21,500 --> 00:02:22,550
It's Africa.

45
00:02:24,220 --> 00:02:25,380
Why? Why?

46
00:02:25,680 --> 00:02:30,039
Well, it's a theme, isn't it? I mean,
you have a theme park. I have gone for a

47
00:02:30,040 --> 00:02:31,090
theme park.

48
00:02:31,600 --> 00:02:33,260
Now, what was your life? My...

49
00:02:33,470 --> 00:02:38,010
Special is Elmo's Safari Sundowner, £2
.50.

50
00:02:38,850 --> 00:02:40,230
So what was the lager, Elmo?

51
00:02:40,231 --> 00:02:44,709
I don't know. That's the trouble with
people around here. They don't have my

52
00:02:44,710 --> 00:02:45,760
imagination.

53
00:02:45,990 --> 00:02:48,400
Oh, they couldn't have your imagination,
Elmo.

54
00:02:48,570 --> 00:02:49,620
No, no.

55
00:02:49,710 --> 00:02:53,209
I mean, if this lot was in
Knightsbridge, you wouldn't be able to

56
00:02:53,210 --> 00:02:54,169
the door.

57
00:02:54,170 --> 00:02:55,770
It was my idea, you know.

58
00:02:56,130 --> 00:02:57,930
Why aren't I surprised to hear that?

59
00:02:57,990 --> 00:02:59,730
Where did you get it? A jumble sale?

60
00:02:59,870 --> 00:03:03,420
No. I didn't. I got it from Robinson
Crusoe.

61
00:03:04,140 --> 00:03:05,520
You like that island of his?

62
00:03:05,720 --> 00:03:12,419
The pantomime. His company went bust and
had an... And it was either

63
00:03:12,420 --> 00:03:17,619
that, Mother Goose, or Robinson Crusoe.
Well, I'd look a bit stoppy stood behind

64
00:03:17,620 --> 00:03:19,420
here dressed as a goose, wouldn't I?

65
00:03:20,300 --> 00:03:22,160
Well, you could lay your own omelette.

66
00:03:22,600 --> 00:03:25,000
Oh, no, no, no, that's much more you,
Elmo.

67
00:03:25,380 --> 00:03:26,430
It's more manly.

68
00:03:26,560 --> 00:03:27,610
Right.

69
00:03:27,800 --> 00:03:29,680
I am a white hunter, you know.

70
00:03:30,280 --> 00:03:33,880
Really? Oh, talking of which, some girl
left you a message.

71
00:03:34,080 --> 00:03:37,640
Fiona, that's her name, said Saturday's
fine.

72
00:03:38,260 --> 00:03:40,400
Right. Sorry, Jacko.

73
00:03:40,820 --> 00:03:41,870
What for?

74
00:03:41,880 --> 00:03:45,020
Well... It's all right, Elmo.

75
00:03:45,280 --> 00:03:47,180
Don't go cross -eyed on my account.

76
00:03:47,720 --> 00:03:49,080
Jacko and I are just mates.

77
00:03:49,620 --> 00:03:50,960
Is that right, Jacko?

78
00:03:51,340 --> 00:03:52,390
Best mates.

79
00:03:55,820 --> 00:03:57,080
Doing anything tonight?

80
00:03:57,780 --> 00:03:58,830
Dull face.

81
00:03:59,380 --> 00:04:01,300
Yes, not coming anywhere near you.

82
00:04:01,760 --> 00:04:03,120
Ah, jeez.

83
00:04:03,600 --> 00:04:04,650
What?

84
00:04:07,660 --> 00:04:09,600
Why's your line only got one eye, Elmo?

85
00:04:09,800 --> 00:04:12,020
Dog flew at it, didn't he? Tore it out.

86
00:04:12,580 --> 00:04:17,039
Ah, don't worry. Your shit will come
home one day, eh? It's got to. I can't

87
00:04:17,040 --> 00:04:20,420
having these mind -blowing ideas and
nothing coming of them.

88
00:04:20,680 --> 00:04:26,080
Yeah, can't just... Don't make... First
impressions, Eric. First... impression?

89
00:04:26,320 --> 00:04:28,660
My senses have gone completely numb.

90
00:04:28,880 --> 00:04:29,930
Great!

91
00:04:30,160 --> 00:04:34,339
Sandra, sorry to spoil your enjoyment,
but Lionel's going potty. He can't find

92
00:04:34,340 --> 00:04:35,579
the estimate for Pearson.

93
00:04:35,580 --> 00:04:38,460
Oh, for goodness sake, what is the
matter with that man?

94
00:04:39,420 --> 00:04:44,180
Elmo, I should change the name of your
pub to the Serengeti Arm.

95
00:04:45,680 --> 00:04:48,760
Serengeti is the name of an Italian
pasta mess.

96
00:04:50,240 --> 00:04:52,520
Now, Eric, what about my special?

97
00:04:53,230 --> 00:04:56,610
Elmo's Safari Sundowner, £2.

98
00:04:57,070 --> 00:04:58,970
You told me £2 .50.

99
00:04:59,250 --> 00:05:00,300
I didn't.

100
00:05:00,550 --> 00:05:02,470
No, thanks. I'll finish Sandra's lager.

101
00:05:03,170 --> 00:05:06,750
Bloody good, innit? I mean, is that even
pay when you come in here?

102
00:05:07,470 --> 00:05:11,610
Get back in that kitchen, you, and leave
that line alone.

103
00:05:11,830 --> 00:05:12,880
Go on!

104
00:05:29,870 --> 00:05:32,430
With the estimate inside it.

105
00:05:32,670 --> 00:05:33,720
Oh.

106
00:05:34,050 --> 00:05:35,100
Oh.

107
00:05:35,501 --> 00:05:37,589
So it is.

108
00:05:37,590 --> 00:05:40,869
Now, do you mind if I go back and finish
my lunch with Jacko? Yeah, all right,

109
00:05:40,870 --> 00:05:42,650
off you go. Only don't... With Jacko?

110
00:05:42,651 --> 00:05:46,989
Yes, you know, the dark -haired chap who
works for you. I know who he is,

111
00:05:46,990 --> 00:05:48,369
Sandra. What's wrong with you?

112
00:05:48,370 --> 00:05:49,420
I'm starving hungry.

113
00:05:49,421 --> 00:05:50,909
You're still seeing him.

114
00:05:50,910 --> 00:05:51,849
We're mates.

115
00:05:51,850 --> 00:05:54,090
You can't be. You were nearly married.

116
00:05:55,110 --> 00:05:59,590
Last time, Mr Bainbridge, Jacko and I
know we don't... have a future together,

117
00:05:59,670 --> 00:06:01,840
but that's no reason not to be good
friends.

118
00:06:02,170 --> 00:06:04,090
Don't you walk away from me, young lady.

119
00:06:04,250 --> 00:06:07,260
Miss Millichip did that once and I
hauled her over the coals.

120
00:06:08,530 --> 00:06:11,240
Is that when she put the staple through
your earlobe?

121
00:06:14,630 --> 00:06:15,950
She was mad, that woman.

122
00:06:17,590 --> 00:06:22,129
Anyway, Mr Bainbridge, my private life
is my private life. It's got nothing to

123
00:06:22,130 --> 00:06:24,909
do with you. Now, that's where you're
wrong. When people look at you, they see

124
00:06:24,910 --> 00:06:25,960
me.

125
00:06:27,240 --> 00:06:28,380
wearing funny glasses.

126
00:06:29,400 --> 00:06:30,580
Don't be silly, Sandra.

127
00:06:30,860 --> 00:06:34,999
I will not have my staff's behaviour
reflect badly on me. I'm a man of high

128
00:06:35,000 --> 00:06:36,800
moral principle, like Mrs Thatcher.

129
00:06:38,460 --> 00:06:39,920
Mind your own business.

130
00:06:39,921 --> 00:06:42,339
Now, that's a word you might not have
thought of.

131
00:06:42,340 --> 00:06:48,299
Business. I just said it. Because,
little McAtsy drop, when I get some

132
00:06:48,300 --> 00:06:51,370
backing, I'll still intend to take this
company to the stars.

133
00:06:51,640 --> 00:06:54,290
And if you're not careful, you might not
come with me.

134
00:06:54,780 --> 00:06:56,400
Were you going to say something?

135
00:06:57,710 --> 00:07:00,070
Nearly. And take that skirt off.

136
00:07:00,590 --> 00:07:02,230
I can't come in both ways.

137
00:07:07,130 --> 00:07:08,180
Hello, Daddy.

138
00:07:08,630 --> 00:07:09,910
Hello, Angel.

139
00:07:10,950 --> 00:07:14,550
Daddy, would you buy me a horse?

140
00:07:16,470 --> 00:07:17,520
A horse?

141
00:07:18,150 --> 00:07:20,250
An horse is rather expensive, Angel.

142
00:07:20,530 --> 00:07:21,910
No, a few hundred pounds.

143
00:07:23,450 --> 00:07:24,930
Plus livery, of course.

144
00:07:24,931 --> 00:07:27,489
A couple thousand a year, I suppose.

145
00:07:27,490 --> 00:07:29,470
How about a nice little donkey instead?

146
00:07:29,990 --> 00:07:32,550
I want to go riding with Giles on my own
horse.

147
00:07:32,551 --> 00:07:36,189
Not wear a kiss -me -quick hat and trot
along the beach at Blackpool.

148
00:07:36,190 --> 00:07:38,300
Daddy's going to have to say N -O,
darling.

149
00:07:38,301 --> 00:07:41,549
I see. Well, all the money I've got at
the moment is going into the business.

150
00:07:41,550 --> 00:07:43,450
I'm still looking to expand, Leslie.

151
00:07:43,690 --> 00:07:47,180
And in the meantime, I'm expected to
trot after Giles on some old hack.

152
00:07:47,490 --> 00:07:49,010
I feel like Sancho Panza.

153
00:07:49,270 --> 00:07:51,500
Is he that tennis player with the big
teeth?

154
00:07:52,190 --> 00:07:57,099
Now, Leslie, talking of Giles... Does
his family really own Hampshire? Not all

155
00:07:57,100 --> 00:07:59,739
of it. Do you think he'd be interested
in investing in the business?

156
00:07:59,740 --> 00:08:01,420
Don't you dare ask him.

157
00:08:01,421 --> 00:08:02,659
Why not?

158
00:08:02,660 --> 00:08:04,520
Because I'd be terribly embarrassed.

159
00:08:04,521 --> 00:08:08,159
I'm talking about a proper business
investment, Leslie, not asking him to

160
00:08:08,160 --> 00:08:11,899
me something on the sly. If you dare
mention it to Giles, I shall never speak

161
00:08:11,900 --> 00:08:12,950
you again.

162
00:08:13,340 --> 00:08:14,390
All right.

163
00:08:14,960 --> 00:08:18,979
But consider this. With an injection of
cash, Daddy could start to think about a

164
00:08:18,980 --> 00:08:20,030
horsey for you.

165
00:08:21,960 --> 00:08:23,010
A palomino.

166
00:08:23,011 --> 00:08:24,639
A what?

167
00:08:24,640 --> 00:08:26,460
Oh, whatever you like.

168
00:08:27,400 --> 00:08:31,699
Well, I suppose you and Giles are sort
of friends. I almost think of him as

169
00:08:31,700 --> 00:08:35,059
family. Not like asking a stranger for a
loan. No.

170
00:08:36,080 --> 00:08:40,539
Well, on consideration, I don't see why
you shouldn't bring the matter up.

171
00:08:41,100 --> 00:08:42,150
Thank you, Angel.

172
00:08:42,151 --> 00:08:45,859
We've always been able to talk, haven't
we?

173
00:08:45,860 --> 00:08:46,910
Yes.

174
00:08:49,460 --> 00:08:50,600
All right, coming.

175
00:08:54,000 --> 00:08:55,050
Hello, Jacko.

176
00:08:55,051 --> 00:08:56,099
Hello, Gloria.

177
00:08:56,100 --> 00:08:59,239
Look, if you want Jean, she's with Eric
and the kids around Aunty Unity's.

178
00:08:59,240 --> 00:09:01,320
No, it's you I want to talk to.

179
00:09:02,440 --> 00:09:03,490
I need help.

180
00:09:05,360 --> 00:09:06,860
Do you have salt milk, Gloria?

181
00:09:07,700 --> 00:09:11,300
Well, I'm being badgered by the gas
boards.

182
00:09:12,640 --> 00:09:16,140
They sent me this form, and I can't make
head nor tail of it.

183
00:09:16,420 --> 00:09:17,560
Well, let's have a look.

184
00:09:18,660 --> 00:09:21,430
Oh, all right, come up, I'll go through
it with you. Go on.

185
00:09:25,480 --> 00:09:27,400
Come on, because it's way past your bed.

186
00:09:28,420 --> 00:09:29,470
Hello, Gloria.

187
00:09:29,471 --> 00:09:30,579
Hello, Jane.

188
00:09:30,580 --> 00:09:31,439
Hello, Eric.

189
00:09:31,440 --> 00:09:32,490
Hello, children.

190
00:09:32,660 --> 00:09:33,710
Santa Gloria.

191
00:09:34,060 --> 00:09:35,260
Are you coming through?

192
00:09:35,261 --> 00:09:37,699
Because we'll have fun too once we've
put the kids to bed.

193
00:09:37,700 --> 00:09:40,000
Oh, no, thanks. I'm going upstairs with
Jacko.

194
00:09:41,300 --> 00:09:43,590
I'm going through the gas board form
with her.

195
00:09:43,720 --> 00:09:44,980
You bloody fool.

196
00:09:49,720 --> 00:09:52,620
I mean, who makes these things up in the
first place, eh?

197
00:09:52,621 --> 00:09:53,769
The gas?

198
00:09:53,770 --> 00:09:54,820
Oh, presumably.

199
00:09:54,821 --> 00:09:58,809
No, I think it's the work of some crazed
professor.

200
00:09:58,810 --> 00:09:59,860
I don't know, Gloria.

201
00:10:00,670 --> 00:10:03,920
Forms are like life. They should be
easy, but they're not. They're

202
00:10:04,870 --> 00:10:06,830
Oh, that doesn't sound like you.

203
00:10:07,510 --> 00:10:11,370
Even when life is complicated, you think
to just sail through it.

204
00:10:11,870 --> 00:10:14,520
Well, perhaps I've lost me rudder at the
moment, eh?

205
00:10:16,310 --> 00:10:17,410
I'm not complicated.

206
00:10:23,240 --> 00:10:24,290
I'm good for blokes.

207
00:10:25,320 --> 00:10:26,440
You don't see that.

208
00:10:27,440 --> 00:10:29,340
A sort of tonic.

209
00:10:30,180 --> 00:10:35,040
I wouldn't say pick -me -up, because
that comes out sounding rather vulgar,

210
00:10:35,080 --> 00:10:36,130
doesn't it?

211
00:10:40,240 --> 00:10:43,000
You look as though you could do with a
tonic, Jacko.

212
00:10:44,360 --> 00:10:48,060
Gloria! Well, why not?

213
00:10:48,740 --> 00:10:49,790
No strings.

214
00:10:50,580 --> 00:10:51,700
No complications.

215
00:10:53,750 --> 00:10:54,800
Just joy.

216
00:10:56,010 --> 00:10:57,730
You are my brother's wife.

217
00:10:58,610 --> 00:11:00,230
Reg deserted me.

218
00:11:00,450 --> 00:11:02,350
I'm not sure of my legal status.

219
00:11:03,010 --> 00:11:04,060
I am.

220
00:11:04,930 --> 00:11:06,350
Well, look at it this way.

221
00:11:06,830 --> 00:11:09,300
It's half Reg's fault that I'm round
here anyway.

222
00:11:09,570 --> 00:11:13,490
If he hadn't run off to Ilfracombe, it'd
be at home to fill in this form.

223
00:11:14,270 --> 00:11:17,400
It would take you to look at it like
that, wouldn't it, Gloria?

224
00:11:17,550 --> 00:11:18,890
We'd have a lovely time.

225
00:11:20,290 --> 00:11:21,490
Yeah, we probably would.

226
00:11:22,280 --> 00:11:24,880
And you feel ever so much better.

227
00:11:26,320 --> 00:11:27,720
It's a possibility, yeah.

228
00:11:28,980 --> 00:11:34,480
And after all, when all's said and done,
what is actually standing in our way?

229
00:11:36,240 --> 00:11:37,740
Well, put it like that, Gloria.

230
00:11:43,000 --> 00:11:45,220
Jaco, can you get that?

231
00:11:45,440 --> 00:11:46,490
We're busy.

232
00:11:47,500 --> 00:11:48,550
Excuse me, Gloria.

233
00:11:59,280 --> 00:12:00,480
I'm looking for Gloria.

234
00:12:01,200 --> 00:12:02,460
Gloria? Yeah.

235
00:12:03,000 --> 00:12:05,920
She's not at home. I wondered if she'd
come round here.

236
00:12:06,320 --> 00:12:07,370
No, no.

237
00:12:07,880 --> 00:12:09,940
Come in, Reg. Come in. Cheers.

238
00:12:10,300 --> 00:12:11,640
Yeah. Look, go through.

239
00:12:12,420 --> 00:12:16,280
So... Gee!

240
00:12:16,820 --> 00:12:17,870
Eric!

241
00:12:18,080 --> 00:12:19,130
Reg is here!

242
00:12:21,440 --> 00:12:24,180
What do you want Gloria for, Reg? I want
her back.

243
00:12:24,520 --> 00:12:27,290
Oh, I thought lobster fishing would make
me forget her.

244
00:12:27,660 --> 00:12:30,620
But all the shellfish in the world can't
blot out my Gloria.

245
00:12:31,480 --> 00:12:32,980
What a lovely thing to say, Reg.

246
00:12:34,180 --> 00:12:35,580
Hello, Jean. Hello, darling.

247
00:12:36,020 --> 00:12:37,160
Hello, Eric. Reg.

248
00:12:38,060 --> 00:12:39,110
Here.

249
00:12:39,640 --> 00:12:41,040
Have a dozen lobsters.

250
00:12:42,400 --> 00:12:43,450
Thanks.

251
00:12:43,820 --> 00:12:46,140
Reg wants Gloria back. Does he? She's
not here.

252
00:12:47,820 --> 00:12:49,480
I didn't know what it was at first.

253
00:12:50,240 --> 00:12:51,920
But I've been very violent lately.

254
00:12:52,320 --> 00:12:53,370
Have you, Reg? Yeah.

255
00:12:55,280 --> 00:12:56,330
Then I realised.

256
00:12:57,000 --> 00:13:00,740
I was knocking people about left, right
and centre because I missed her.

257
00:13:01,400 --> 00:13:04,980
I've been like a little robin what's
lost its mate.

258
00:13:06,300 --> 00:13:07,480
What about Gloria?

259
00:13:08,180 --> 00:13:09,230
How's she been?

260
00:13:10,880 --> 00:13:11,930
Quiet.

261
00:13:12,240 --> 00:13:14,080
Oh, bless her.

262
00:13:14,660 --> 00:13:16,060
I want that girl.

263
00:13:16,640 --> 00:13:19,050
Excuse me, Reg, I've left something on
the boil.

264
00:13:34,080 --> 00:13:35,720
What? My mate?

265
00:13:36,000 --> 00:13:38,470
Well, who else's wedge would I be
talking about?

266
00:13:38,720 --> 00:13:39,770
He's looking for you.

267
00:13:40,280 --> 00:13:41,330
Oh.

268
00:13:41,560 --> 00:13:44,440
Here I say, this could look terribly
compromising.

269
00:13:44,441 --> 00:13:47,739
It's just a mirror suggesting glory,
right?

270
00:13:47,740 --> 00:13:49,120
Well, what can we do?

271
00:13:49,860 --> 00:13:52,150
I've never known what to do at times
like this.

272
00:13:52,151 --> 00:13:55,499
Well, you ain't going to believe what
we're filling in a gas ball for, now, is

273
00:13:55,500 --> 00:13:57,480
it? I won't. Exactly.

274
00:14:04,620 --> 00:14:05,670
Come on, come on.

275
00:14:08,320 --> 00:14:09,370
Shh.

276
00:14:25,900 --> 00:14:26,950
Potatoes.

277
00:14:28,580 --> 00:14:29,630
Wham to the lobster.

278
00:14:35,440 --> 00:14:37,720
Bubbles up like molten lava.

279
00:14:38,880 --> 00:14:40,820
I get like that sometimes, Reg.

280
00:14:41,980 --> 00:14:43,100
No, you don't.

281
00:14:47,500 --> 00:14:48,620
I'll go. I'll go.

282
00:15:31,140 --> 00:15:36,420
Gloria, life without you is like a shell
with no winkle in it.

283
00:15:37,480 --> 00:15:38,580
Will you have me?

284
00:15:39,880 --> 00:15:41,220
Oh, Ricky.

285
00:15:43,260 --> 00:15:44,310
Oh.

286
00:15:45,120 --> 00:15:48,620
You know there's only ever been one man
for me.

287
00:16:11,340 --> 00:16:13,040
Ingrid Christensen went that way.

288
00:16:13,800 --> 00:16:16,060
Oh, hello, Jacko.

289
00:16:16,980 --> 00:16:18,030
Hello, Veronica.

290
00:16:19,300 --> 00:16:22,620
Have you been through the pain barrier
yet? No.

291
00:16:23,420 --> 00:16:25,650
I stop when I get the out -of -breath
barrier.

292
00:16:27,560 --> 00:16:30,340
I'm sorry about Lionel.

293
00:16:30,840 --> 00:16:33,760
Yeah, well, I'm sorry about Lionel. What
in particular?

294
00:16:34,080 --> 00:16:36,580
Well, I get the feeling from the...

295
00:16:36,581 --> 00:16:40,399
paroxysms he goes into at the mention of
your name. He's been giving you a

296
00:16:40,400 --> 00:16:42,080
particularly bad time at work.

297
00:16:42,640 --> 00:16:44,900
Yeah. There's not a lot of warmth there.

298
00:16:44,901 --> 00:16:49,999
As a matter of fact, I think he's
running so short of epithets that he's

299
00:16:50,000 --> 00:16:51,440
refuge in foreign languages.

300
00:16:51,540 --> 00:16:53,950
He reckoned I was D -Trop the other day,
you know.

301
00:16:55,180 --> 00:16:58,400
I think it's my life with the ladies
that gets to him.

302
00:16:58,900 --> 00:17:00,520
How is your life with the ladies?

303
00:17:02,040 --> 00:17:03,090
Flourishing.

304
00:17:03,900 --> 00:17:05,720
You don't look too cheerful about it.

305
00:17:06,030 --> 00:17:07,080
No, I'm not.

306
00:17:09,710 --> 00:17:11,050
My life should be content.

307
00:17:12,290 --> 00:17:15,450
It's like a jigsaw with a big piece
missing out the middle.

308
00:17:19,550 --> 00:17:24,309
Look, I know this is a radical thought,
but is it possible that the missing

309
00:17:24,310 --> 00:17:27,320
piece of your jigsaw has got nothing to
do with women at all?

310
00:17:28,150 --> 00:17:29,650
Now, that is a radical thought.

311
00:17:29,651 --> 00:17:33,269
You don't think there's a small inner
voice somewhere telling me to become a

312
00:17:33,270 --> 00:17:34,159
monk, do you?

313
00:17:34,160 --> 00:17:35,480
I didn't mean that radical.

314
00:17:36,340 --> 00:17:37,780
Nothing to do with women, eh?

315
00:17:37,781 --> 00:17:40,299
Don't give yourself a brainstorm.

316
00:17:40,300 --> 00:17:41,279
It's only a thought.

317
00:17:41,280 --> 00:17:42,279
No, it's possible.

318
00:17:42,280 --> 00:17:43,330
Certainly possible.

319
00:17:44,900 --> 00:17:47,970
Well, I'll leave you to it. I've got to
get the Sunday dinner on.

320
00:17:48,680 --> 00:17:51,450
Have you got a missing piece in your
jigsaw, Veronica?

321
00:17:54,080 --> 00:17:55,700
That'd be telling, wouldn't it?

322
00:18:13,419 --> 00:18:14,760
night. I know I do.

323
00:18:16,540 --> 00:18:18,280
I'm going out for a drink after work.

324
00:18:18,440 --> 00:18:23,719
Bit overdressed for Elmore, aren't you?
A drink with my wife, my daughter and my

325
00:18:23,720 --> 00:18:28,720
daughter's current escort Major Giles
Smythe of the Royal Scots Greys.

326
00:18:29,040 --> 00:18:30,300
He's taken her somewhere.

327
00:18:30,540 --> 00:18:31,640
He invited me himself.

328
00:18:32,380 --> 00:18:33,430
Vocally.

329
00:18:34,540 --> 00:18:36,660
Did he specify black tie?

330
00:18:36,661 --> 00:18:39,979
No, this is me using my own initiative.
You've got to have something up here to

331
00:18:39,980 --> 00:18:41,480
know when to put one of these on.

332
00:18:41,720 --> 00:18:46,919
It stands to reason a man of Giles'
class is bound to take one somewhere...

333
00:18:46,920 --> 00:18:48,280
Posh? Clubby.

334
00:18:49,420 --> 00:18:50,900
Why are you wearing it now?

335
00:18:51,120 --> 00:18:52,320
Are you breaking it in?

336
00:18:53,100 --> 00:18:54,740
It looks like a second skin to me.

337
00:18:54,741 --> 00:18:58,339
The reason I'm wearing it now is because
I've got a late business appointment

338
00:18:58,340 --> 00:19:00,379
and I won't have time to go home and
change.

339
00:19:00,380 --> 00:19:03,679
Incidentally, I trust my office has spot
this, because if I fit in anything,

340
00:19:03,680 --> 00:19:04,900
Mossbloss will go spare.

341
00:19:06,620 --> 00:19:07,670
Any of you?

342
00:19:08,560 --> 00:19:09,980
Oi! Oi!

343
00:19:10,300 --> 00:19:11,540
Oi! Stay in here, you.

344
00:19:11,541 --> 00:19:12,579
Come in.

345
00:19:12,580 --> 00:19:15,819
Close the door. Get out. I'll say that
as well. You've got to have an

346
00:19:15,820 --> 00:19:17,280
explanation, Andy. I have.

347
00:19:17,281 --> 00:19:18,979
I'm leaving.

348
00:19:18,980 --> 00:19:20,240
There's me formal notice.

349
00:19:20,241 --> 00:19:21,399
You're serious?

350
00:19:21,400 --> 00:19:22,460
Yes. Why?

351
00:19:22,461 --> 00:19:26,499
Well, it's hard to explain, Lionel.
There's a bit of me jigsaw missing and,

352
00:19:26,500 --> 00:19:27,980
well, I've got to find it.

353
00:19:28,820 --> 00:19:30,020
That's loony, that is.

354
00:19:30,021 --> 00:19:34,379
You try half a perfectly good job to
crawl around on the carpet looking for a

355
00:19:34,380 --> 00:19:35,430
bit of jigsaw.

356
00:19:36,120 --> 00:19:37,500
What's the matter with you?

357
00:19:37,780 --> 00:19:39,540
A figurative jigsaw.

358
00:19:39,541 --> 00:19:43,339
Doesn't matter what sort of jigsaw, the
principle's still applied.

359
00:19:43,340 --> 00:19:45,360
Oh, forget the jigsaw, Lionel.

360
00:19:45,361 --> 00:19:49,339
Now, there's something missing in my
life, and leaving here might help me

361
00:19:49,340 --> 00:19:52,640
it. Well, I've heard of ingratitude.
I've been like a father to you.

362
00:19:53,420 --> 00:19:54,470
When was this?

363
00:19:54,660 --> 00:19:55,710
All the time.

364
00:19:55,920 --> 00:19:57,160
I taught you how to paint.

365
00:19:57,740 --> 00:19:59,850
You don't even know how to paint
yourself.

366
00:20:00,300 --> 00:20:01,840
Oh, come on, Lionel.

367
00:20:01,841 --> 00:20:05,099
Blimey, I thought you'd be chuffed to
see the back of me.

368
00:20:05,100 --> 00:20:06,660
Now, why should you think that?

369
00:20:06,840 --> 00:20:07,890
You hate me.

370
00:20:08,080 --> 00:20:12,039
No, I don't. Good heavens, I know we've
had a few rucks from time to time, but

371
00:20:12,040 --> 00:20:13,920
they're like, well, just like family.

372
00:20:14,460 --> 00:20:15,510
Yeah, the Borgias.

373
00:20:17,080 --> 00:20:20,360
Look, Jacko, if it's money... No, it's
not money, Lionel.

374
00:20:20,760 --> 00:20:21,880
I'll work me two weeks.

375
00:20:22,120 --> 00:20:25,180
No. No, if that's your stupid attitude,
you can clear up now.

376
00:20:25,780 --> 00:20:26,830
Right, I will.

377
00:20:26,980 --> 00:20:28,100
Now, listen, listen.

378
00:20:29,120 --> 00:20:30,260
That's a silly gesture.

379
00:20:30,261 --> 00:20:33,919
And don't expect to come crawling back,
that's all. You'll have missed my gravy

380
00:20:33,920 --> 00:20:34,970
train to success.

381
00:20:34,971 --> 00:20:36,539
Well, you can't be doing that well.

382
00:20:36,540 --> 00:20:37,579
What do you mean?

383
00:20:37,580 --> 00:20:40,650
Well, you're obviously having the
moonlight as a waiter now.

384
00:20:40,651 --> 00:20:46,119
One of these days, you two are going to
have a conversation without knocking my

385
00:20:46,120 --> 00:20:47,200
pictures off the wall.

386
00:20:47,201 --> 00:20:48,419
Not now, Sandra.

387
00:20:48,420 --> 00:20:49,620
I've handed me noticing.

388
00:20:50,560 --> 00:20:52,200
Blimey. What brought that on?

389
00:20:52,620 --> 00:20:54,540
Well, I'm still looking for something.

390
00:20:54,760 --> 00:20:55,900
Have you got any plans?

391
00:20:56,540 --> 00:20:57,590
Yeah, I've got a plan.

392
00:20:57,591 --> 00:20:59,959
In fact, I'm seeing someone this
afternoon.

393
00:20:59,960 --> 00:21:01,620
I meant business plans.

394
00:21:02,400 --> 00:21:04,240
Strangely enough, Sandra, so did I.

395
00:21:05,141 --> 00:21:12,249
Funny, you know, Giles, I didn't think
you'd be bringing it here. I'm getting

396
00:21:12,250 --> 00:21:14,660
rather fond of the place. It's such
terrific fun.

397
00:21:14,890 --> 00:21:16,250
Well, I think it's seedy.

398
00:21:16,450 --> 00:21:19,340
It's not for the entirety of the
evening, is it, darling?

399
00:21:19,450 --> 00:21:20,500
Sorry, Giles.

400
00:21:21,110 --> 00:21:22,160
Here we are.

401
00:21:22,210 --> 00:21:24,430
Four safari sundowners.

402
00:21:25,470 --> 00:21:27,610
That's, um, £1 .50.

403
00:21:27,890 --> 00:21:29,270
That's six quid altogether.

404
00:21:30,110 --> 00:21:31,160
Thank you, landlord.

405
00:21:31,230 --> 00:21:32,790
I think these are fun, too.

406
00:21:34,990 --> 00:21:36,270
Yes, I'll bet they are.

407
00:21:37,080 --> 00:21:39,060
Sir? Get your hand off his epaulets.

408
00:21:39,440 --> 00:21:40,490
Sorry.

409
00:21:40,660 --> 00:21:41,710
Sir?

410
00:21:42,040 --> 00:21:46,819
Yes? You are one of the only people
round here who appreciates what I'm

411
00:21:46,820 --> 00:21:49,920
to do. I wonder if you could put the
word round your regiment.

412
00:21:50,320 --> 00:21:51,820
Why not just a sandwich board?

413
00:21:52,170 --> 00:21:55,970
No, I could certainly give you a
mention. One snag, though.

414
00:21:56,530 --> 00:21:59,480
Officers in other ranks don't usually
use the same Buddha.

415
00:21:59,690 --> 00:22:02,170
I could put up a partition in bamboo.

416
00:22:02,590 --> 00:22:05,270
Rip round one side, you'll lock the
other.

417
00:22:05,610 --> 00:22:06,750
What about the horses?

418
00:22:06,950 --> 00:22:08,390
There's a yard round the back.

419
00:22:08,510 --> 00:22:10,390
A yard round the back!

420
00:22:10,970 --> 00:22:12,330
You're priceless!

421
00:22:13,510 --> 00:22:14,560
Anyway,

422
00:22:15,630 --> 00:22:20,289
I'll certainly bring you up in the mess.
No, no, no, these are on me. There is

423
00:22:20,290 --> 00:22:24,129
one thing I could... do, I could get
some posters done up and you could stick

424
00:22:24,130 --> 00:22:25,410
them up somewhere. Oi, oi!

425
00:22:25,411 --> 00:22:28,909
That's enough. This is a social
gathering, not an opportunity for you to

426
00:22:28,910 --> 00:22:33,050
somebody. All right, all right. By the
way, Alma, why has your lion got no

427
00:22:33,370 --> 00:22:35,450
Dog flew at it, didn't it? Oh,

428
00:22:36,390 --> 00:22:37,650
priceless!

429
00:22:39,570 --> 00:22:41,590
Anyway, cheers, everyone.

430
00:22:41,890 --> 00:22:42,940
Cheers.

431
00:22:55,791 --> 00:22:57,759
Looking very smart.

432
00:22:57,760 --> 00:22:58,739
Oh, thank you, Giles.

433
00:22:58,740 --> 00:22:59,790
Going on somewhere.

434
00:22:59,880 --> 00:23:00,930
Pardon?

435
00:23:01,300 --> 00:23:02,350
On somewhere.

436
00:23:02,780 --> 00:23:05,800
You obviously didn't put on black tie
just to go for a drink.

437
00:23:06,460 --> 00:23:10,080
No. No, no, of course I didn't. I'll be
going on, all right?

438
00:23:10,300 --> 00:23:13,190
Yes, Lionel is taking me out to dinner.
Yeah, that's right.

439
00:23:13,760 --> 00:23:15,480
We're going to the Savoy Grill.

440
00:23:18,000 --> 00:23:19,050
Super.

441
00:23:19,220 --> 00:23:20,500
It costs a bomb.

442
00:23:21,240 --> 00:23:23,350
Lionel doesn't mind. No, no, I'm like
that.

443
00:23:23,630 --> 00:23:25,070
I haven't been there for ages.

444
00:23:25,071 --> 00:23:28,129
I tell you what, I'll bring you back a
menu. You can see what they're doing

445
00:23:28,130 --> 00:23:29,180
these days.

446
00:23:29,470 --> 00:23:30,610
How very thoughtful.

447
00:23:30,611 --> 00:23:31,889
Yes, very thoughtful.

448
00:23:31,890 --> 00:23:33,870
I hope we're going somewhere nice later.

449
00:23:33,950 --> 00:23:36,790
Rather. I thought we'd get some fish and
chips.

450
00:23:38,410 --> 00:23:39,460
Fish and chips?

451
00:23:39,630 --> 00:23:40,680
Yes.

452
00:23:40,790 --> 00:23:41,870
Wheelers at Brighton.

453
00:23:42,170 --> 00:23:47,510
Oh. Well, isn't this nice? All sitting
together, all going on afterwards.

454
00:23:47,770 --> 00:23:50,120
There's almost a family feeling at this
table.

455
00:23:50,590 --> 00:23:51,830
Very kind of you, sir.

456
00:23:52,540 --> 00:23:53,590
Giles.

457
00:23:55,420 --> 00:23:59,179
With that sort of feeling in the
atmosphere, would you be offended if I

458
00:23:59,180 --> 00:24:00,759
talk to you about a business loan?

459
00:24:00,760 --> 00:24:01,539
No, I know.

460
00:24:01,540 --> 00:24:02,620
It's all right, Mummy.

461
00:24:02,760 --> 00:24:03,810
Giles doesn't mind.

462
00:24:03,811 --> 00:24:07,839
Of course I don't mind. Good gracious,
sir. As I'm squiring your daughter and

463
00:24:07,840 --> 00:24:11,239
we're all getting on so well, I'd be
very offended were you not to ask me.

464
00:24:11,240 --> 00:24:12,290
Oh, see?

465
00:24:12,300 --> 00:24:14,710
This is a gentleman understanding a
gentleman.

466
00:24:15,840 --> 00:24:17,040
So what about it, Giles?

467
00:24:17,480 --> 00:24:20,070
Terribly sorry. I'm strapped for cash at
the moment.

468
00:24:21,260 --> 00:24:22,310
Ironic, really.

469
00:24:22,311 --> 00:24:25,119
Had you asked me earlier this afternoon,
I could have put a few thousand your

470
00:24:25,120 --> 00:24:26,200
way, no trouble at all.

471
00:24:26,620 --> 00:24:28,240
Well, what have you done with it?

472
00:24:28,580 --> 00:24:30,440
Invested it somewhere else, darling.

473
00:24:32,820 --> 00:24:34,200
No, I'd like to, really.

474
00:24:35,360 --> 00:24:36,410
Fine.

475
00:24:36,480 --> 00:24:37,560
See you at eight, then.

476
00:24:37,800 --> 00:24:38,850
Bye, Jimmy.

477
00:24:39,851 --> 00:24:41,899
Morning, Sandra.

478
00:24:41,900 --> 00:24:44,340
Hello, Jack. Oh, haven't seen you for
ages.

479
00:24:44,700 --> 00:24:45,750
No, I've been busy.

480
00:24:45,820 --> 00:24:46,870
Is the tiller in?

481
00:24:47,200 --> 00:24:48,250
Yes.

482
00:24:48,260 --> 00:24:49,940
Have your plans come to anything?

483
00:24:49,941 --> 00:24:51,759
Well, they're off the drawing board.

484
00:24:51,760 --> 00:24:55,430
You tell me, Sandra, do you consider
yourself a permanent fixture here?

485
00:24:55,720 --> 00:24:56,770
Not necessarily.

486
00:24:57,020 --> 00:24:58,070
Why?

487
00:24:58,380 --> 00:24:59,430
What's the thought?

488
00:25:02,320 --> 00:25:03,370
Coming.

489
00:25:03,780 --> 00:25:04,830
Morning, Lionel.

490
00:25:06,540 --> 00:25:11,239
I thought so. It didn't take you long to
feel the freezing cold of winter, did

491
00:25:11,240 --> 00:25:14,479
it? Come on, let's have it. Let's have
all your pathetic, groveling reasons as

492
00:25:14,480 --> 00:25:15,860
to why I should take you back.

493
00:25:15,861 --> 00:25:17,219
I don't want to come back.

494
00:25:17,220 --> 00:25:18,509
Well, what do you want, then?

495
00:25:18,510 --> 00:25:21,349
Well, you said yourself, Lionel, that
you were like a father to me.

496
00:25:21,350 --> 00:25:24,509
Well, what more natural than a son
should come and tell his father what

497
00:25:24,510 --> 00:25:25,650
to? I'm not interested.

498
00:25:26,010 --> 00:25:27,060
What are you up to?

499
00:25:27,950 --> 00:25:29,150
I'm going into business.

500
00:25:29,270 --> 00:25:30,410
Where? Paperboy?

501
00:25:30,830 --> 00:25:31,880
No, the painter.

502
00:25:31,881 --> 00:25:35,989
What? A painter, Lionel. You know, they
get a brush and they dip it in some

503
00:25:35,990 --> 00:25:37,730
paint and they paint things with it.

504
00:25:37,890 --> 00:25:38,940
I know that.

505
00:25:39,610 --> 00:25:40,660
Who employ you?

506
00:25:40,970 --> 00:25:42,530
Me. I'm setting up my own firm.

507
00:25:42,730 --> 00:25:44,650
I'm going to laugh uncontrollably now.

508
00:25:46,010 --> 00:25:47,060
Go on, then.

509
00:25:49,230 --> 00:25:50,280
I laughed inside.

510
00:25:52,110 --> 00:25:53,890
You running your own business.

511
00:25:54,210 --> 00:25:56,740
That's as likely as me becoming a prima
ballerina.

512
00:25:57,170 --> 00:25:58,630
You'd look lovely in a tutu.

513
00:26:00,210 --> 00:26:01,260
Don't be coarse.

514
00:26:01,450 --> 00:26:03,190
You'll be an unmitigated disaster.

515
00:26:03,750 --> 00:26:07,909
How can I be when I was taught by the
master, eh? Because, Sonny Jim, I am the

516
00:26:07,910 --> 00:26:10,909
master, and you are what you've always
been, a know -nothing.

517
00:26:10,910 --> 00:26:13,129
Setting up on your own, you wouldn't
know where to start.

518
00:26:13,130 --> 00:26:15,120
I have already. I've got my own
premises.

519
00:26:15,170 --> 00:26:16,220
What?

520
00:26:16,570 --> 00:26:20,000
Where? Well, if you can spare the time,
Lionel, I'll show you. Come on.

521
00:26:22,231 --> 00:26:24,199
Come in, Sandra.

522
00:26:24,200 --> 00:26:25,280
It could interest you.

523
00:26:39,940 --> 00:26:41,920
No, Lionel, we're not driving anywhere.

524
00:26:42,211 --> 00:26:43,839
That's it.

525
00:26:43,840 --> 00:26:44,890
Over there.

526
00:26:50,700 --> 00:26:53,300
You are daring to open up opposite me?

527
00:26:53,860 --> 00:26:55,560
Yeah. Code, innit?

528
00:26:55,561 --> 00:26:58,099
Here, perhaps we'll be able to see each
other each day, eh?

529
00:26:58,100 --> 00:26:59,150
That would be nice.

530
00:26:59,680 --> 00:27:00,840
It bloody wouldn't.

531
00:27:00,841 --> 00:27:05,379
Where would somebody like you get the
money for a place like that?

532
00:27:05,380 --> 00:27:06,419
I've borrowed it.

533
00:27:06,420 --> 00:27:07,470
Where from?

534
00:27:08,480 --> 00:27:09,530
Charles.

535
00:27:18,000 --> 00:27:19,620
Because of you.

536
00:27:25,610 --> 00:27:28,350
Because of you.

537
00:27:29,750 --> 00:27:32,650
Because of you.

538
00:27:32,970 --> 00:27:38,430
Oh, and you love nature.

539
00:27:38,750 --> 00:27:40,570
You love nature.

540
00:27:40,620 --> 00:27:45,170
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